Midlife Crisis in the Twenties

This is my Naruto picture gone bad. It looked a lot better before I coloured it...

Apparently, I am going through some type of midlife crisis. It is a really strange story, which makes me doubt in my sanity. This midlife crisis was brought on by anime, or more specifically, Naruto and now Boruto. Please be warned that there might be spoilers in here for some people.

Naruto as my Conscience

In my teenage years, which feels so far away now, I watched Naruto. It just came out in my country when I was about 14. Anime wasn't exactly big back then, and I had very few friends I could share my passion with. 

Yet, whether I had someone to share it with or not, I spent a lot of my free time living in that world. I would imagine myself fighting along Naruto and the others (often taking the slot on the teams of the less important characters, sorry Tenten). Further, I enjoyed writing and drawing fan art, which I either hid away or put on Deviantart. 

As you can tell, my entire life revolved around Naruto. It didn't stop there, either. By channeling my Naruto fighting spirit, I managed to find inner strength. I decided that if he can do what he does, then I can, too. Making Naruto my active conscience made me enjoy exercising and I also refused to eat whenever I was watching it (no pigging out in front of the TV). It was all good, and no bad.

The Midlife Crisis Began

Naruto moved on, and so did I. My life changed so rapidly and dramatically after school that Naruto took a backseat. I willingly said goodbye, but I still flourished without my teenage companions. 

At the start of last year, I had to move country (again). I started watching Naruto again, as my life turned into some soap opera that I felt little attachment to. I can't seem to cope with the move this time and I hoped that Naruto's strength will once again give me strength; lame, I know.

After I finished watching the devastating end of Neji's life, I realised the horrible truth of life itself. At my age, you would think I would know these truths. These truths were increased as the injustices of everyone's lives were thrown into my face (and this counts for real-life, too). 

For example, disasters are happening all around us. Sometimes I wonder how we are still holding on to a crumbling world. Watching my homeland burn and flood at the same time, I found myself worried. Usually it helps to watch Naruto force his way through terrible things, but this time his struggles made it worse. 

Naruto's Death  

These struggles were for nothing. Only yesterday I found out what Boruto has in store for us. Naruto dies? What? I hate this idea, but I know it's needed to create the next generation. No one can live forever, not even Naruto. For some reason, I am not ready to let go, and the unwillingness created the mess that was named Midlife Crisis.

Naruto dying showed me just how life is. He never grew old, yet he was so strong (in more ways than one). He inspired people, but he never had an easy life. He had to fight for everything he had, but he never did bring the peace he fought for. Peace is unattainable.

There is Good News

On the other hand, there is one thing we can take away from Naruto. He did teach us that you can live and die the best way you can. We will all die one day, whether we want to or not. But we can make the decision to make a difference before we do.

Naruto could easily have been like Sasuke, but he chose to be more. We will never have an easy life, but we can make the most of it. I always try to think that we can have it worse. I know there is worse. Maybe knowing this will make me get over this phase sooner.

Until then, I will hang on and stop watching Naruto and Boruto. I will use it as inspiration, but not as a lifeline. I believe I have crossed an invisible line that read Warning, you are turning into a complete delusional geek. Turn around now and now I am making my way back.

Have you ever crossed that line with your hobbies?